Conflict Coaching & Supporting you

At Conflict Intelligence, we have developed a unique approach to conflict coaching and support for clients in dispute. This is based upon current psychological understanding and utilising scientific principles as to how disputes develop, are maintained and ultimately can be transformed.

Our conflict coaching offers multiple strategies and knowledge to help increase conflict intelligence. Whether you are personally involved in a conflict or deal with disputes in your professional life. Our aim is to equip you with enhanced psychological awareness and practical skills, to assertively manage and resolve disputes and understand others.  In addition, building confidence and supporting you in reducing the significant emotional impact of such disputes upon yourself and others in your environment.


Conflict Coaching involves assisting you to develop a deeper understanding of the multitude complex factors involved in conflict. These may range from communication issues, historical experience, negative narratives, brain biology, conflict avoidance, self deception as to how you may be contributing to your dispute, to significant or poorly unexpressed emotions.

Rather than trying to directly change the personalities of the parties involved in the dispute, or to reach premature and forced agreements. We primarily target the mindset of those involved, and the subsequent maladaptive dispute resolution and communication skills employed. Which can be identified as core features in the development and negative maintenance of such disputes and greatly impact those involved.

By recognising such factors from a systemic and psychological perspective, strategies can be readily employed to encourage increased self-awareness, better management of emotions, improved assertive communication, and increasing self empowerment. All leading to the establishment of new functional patterns for effective problem resolution. By changing how you understand and interact with the dispute, not only will likely change the dispute system, in many cases it will also positively influence how the other side also constructively engages. All leading towards transformation and change of the dispute in a more constructive direction.

Sessions will be tailored to your unique and individual needs or both parties in the dispute. Increasing conflict intelligence will likely involve enhancing your understanding of some of the following areas and developing new practical skills.


Circumstances Leading to Disputes

  • Evolution
  • History
  • Internal conflict and disconnections
  • Biology
  • Emotions, cognition, behaviour
  • Developing conflict mindsets
  • Self justifications
  • Communication
  • Internal and external coping strategies
  • Values
  • Needs
  • Identity
  • Complexity and systems
  • Conflict Trances
  • Conflict attractors

Traits & Patterns – That Contribute to Conflict 

  • Conflict mindsets
  • Judgemental
  • Dominating
  • Controlling
  • Reactive
  • Defensive
  • Depressive
  • Emotional
  • Avoidant
  • Passive

Biology of Conflict

  • Biological predisposition
  • The role of Stress and Fear
  • Implicit strategies to deal with conflict
  • Emotions in conflict and change
  • The expression of conflict through Emotions, Cognition, Behaviour
  • Memory and recall
  • Role of State Dependent Memory in conflict
  • Mirror Neuron System

Conflict Avoidance

  • Why people avoid
  • Minimisation
  • Misdirection
  • Escalation
  • Premature resolution

Communication in Conflict

  • Self communication
  • Communication Preferences and Positions
  • How Communication Changes in Disputes
  • Loss of Information
  • Attributions
  • Justification
  • Sarcasm, Blame
  • Avoidance
  • Mirror Neuron System

Mapping the Dispute  – (Breaking Down to Build Up)

  • Complex systems
  • Self organising disputes
  • Values, needs, identity
  • Dispute narratives
  • Expression of conflict through cognition, emotion, behaviour
  • Data Loss
  • Expectations
  • Assumptions
  • Intent
  • Cognitive Bias
  • Emotional Hooks
  • Conflict games
  • Behavioural escalation
  • Gaining from conflict

Successfully Managing Conflict & Essential Listening Skills

  • Safe environment principle
  • Changing your mindset
  • Utilising the mirror neurone system
  • Attitude and Intent
  • Value
  • Assuming Rapport
  • Communication symmetry
  • Communicating empathy
  • Showing understanding and finding value
  • Feeding back
  • Utilising Mind Body functioning

Strategic Approaches to Managing Emotions and Increase Creativity

  • Dispute Psycho Education – De-Labelling
  • Seeing people as people
  • Getting out of the conflict trance
  • Ultradian Mind/Body Rhythm
  • Redirection of Emotions
  • Acknowledging the value of emotions
  • Expressing emotions
  • Symbolic recognition
  • Processing Trauma
  • Compartmentalising – Home Work assignments – Exploration
  • Future Focused Strategies
  • Role reversal Strategies

Recognising Positive Attractors

  • Recognising islands in conflict patterns
  • Utilising broader and external changes
  • Moving towards positive attractors

Enhancing Communication – Verbal and Written

  • Developing your inner mindset
  • Positive regard for others
  • Avoiding the Blame Game
  • Appreciation
  • Affiliation
  • Control/ Choice
  • Status
  • Role
  • Enhanced listening skills
  • Acknowledging emotions on both sides
  • Expressions of needs, interests and fears
  • Managing resistance
  • Assertive communication

Enhancing Constructive Engagement and Facilitating Mutual Agreements

  • Transforming the problem solving system
  • Enhancing constructive communication
  • Basic Principle (Increase Creative Complexity)
  • Building Trust
  • Looking and communicating beneath positions
  • Separating creating from deciding
  • Exploring possibilities
  • Solutions for mutual gain
  • Brain storming and constructive criticism
  • Objective criteria
  • Future focussed strategies







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