Conflict Intelligence offers ground breaking Separation and Divorce Coaching and education, to support individuals or couples who wish to manage their separation or divorce more constructively. In addition, where children may be involved, assist parents to transition into new constructive co-parenting relationships.
Our approach is designed to equip you and your ex partner with skills and strategies to help you navigate your separation or divorce with confidence and emotional control. Ensuring you are enabled to make the right decisions for you and your family based on understanding all your needs and concerns. Most relationship breakdowns occur over a protracted period of time and often as a result of poor communication and understanding of each parties needs and feelings. We believe that for individuals to successfully manage such a difficult process of change such as separation and divorce, involves increasing conflict/ separation intelligence, to enhance self awareness and awareness of others, managing emotions, recognising and identifying needs, understanding the impact on those involved, enhancing collaborative problem solving and developing constructive communication skills. All of which may have previously been overlooked during the process of relationship breakdown, or subsequent adversarial litigation. It is also vital that parents become aware of the possible significant impact of ongoing parental conflict on their children, to ensure steps can be taken to ensure this impact can always be minimised.
Separation is likely to evoke considerable and strong emotions such as fear, anger, guilt, sadness, and significant feelings of loss in both parties and their families, due to the magnitude of such change. Therefore, it is primarily important to manage any such emotions in the most productive manner. In order that they do not inadvertently become misperceived or expressed as unhelpful animosity or acrimony. It is important to also consider that it takes time for many parties to disconnect emotionally and to establish new independent lives, particularly if the parties have children. It is not unusual for this normal process of psychological adaptation, to continue a couple of years and in some cases longer. Therefore, appropriate independent support can be particularly beneficial in assisting parties to understand their experience and transition through this process.
Relationship breakdown between parents may also evoke considerable uncertainty and fears for the children involved. It is therefore extremely important that children are also supported and guided both during and after the separation and divorce of their parents. Separating parents should always aim to ensure their children are insulated from any parental disputes, whilst also supporting them in their adaptation to their parents separation.
Co parenting, seeks to value and encourage both parents to have the very best relationship possible with their children, putting their children’s needs first and beyond any parental conflict after separation. Developing a functional co-parenting relationship with an ex-partner is an essential part in supporting your children and their future long term psychological wellbeing, however it is sometimes more difficult to achieve without independent support and guidance. It naturally involves a physical and emotional discontinuation and letting go of your past intimate relationship and previous upset, whilst increasing conflict/ separation intelligence regarding the process, establishing new functional boundaries of behaviour and communication, creating a shared supportive environment for your children, aligning behind parenting values, supporting each others autonomy and roles when caring for your children, and working to reach consensual and inclusive agreements regarding your children.
By understanding the emotional and communication challenges you may face, we aim to enable you to develop skills to navigate the pitfalls of separation, divorce and co- parenting. Providing you with far greater self-awareness, enhanced decision-making abilities, self-confidence, and feelings of self-assurance during the process. We also aim to assist you to develop as an individual through the experience of separation, whilst maintaining a good working relationship with your ex-partner, both during and after this difficult period. Which is particularly important when children or other family members may be involved.
Developing divorce and co-parenting intelligence can assist with the following:
Manage overwhelming emotions of a separation or divorce
Dealing with loss, anger, stress, and fear
Informing and supporting your children during and after separation
Recognising the real impact on you and others in your family
Understanding and adopting co parenting principles
Protecting children from parental disputes
Putting children first
Understanding the impact of parental conflict on children
Building a co-parenting relationship
How to communicate with and support children
Reducing reactivity, developing inner strength and emotional calmness
Communicating without blame or judgement
Understanding and clarifying your needs and that of others
Collaborative and inclusive thinking to reach agreements
Enhance confidence, self-esteem, motivation and remaining in control
Breaking negative cycles of interconnected thought and feelings
Gain clarity and sustained focus on your top priorities
Provide you with skills and strategies to communicate effectively with your former partner
Recognising the real impact ion you and others in your family